Going to the chapel (city hall?)

No one is going to read this thing if I don't update. I'm aware. So, here we go. Topic of the day: weddings. I'm jumping on the bandwagon since some of my favorite bloggers are planning weddings and blogging about them and I like to live vicariously through people on the internets I don't even know. I rock. So, weddings...I am pretty sure that the boy and I will be getting engaged in the next few months. Wow, it is weird to type that out and make it real. Usually, I just think it to myself and then proceed to plan the next 10 years of my life. Regardless, we've been together since college, talk about it all the time, and already consider each other family/partners and all that great, corny stuff. So it's imminent, barring some unforseen disaster like him falling in love with some parisian slut and leaving me for a life of croissants and espresso in Europe some time in the next week before he comes home. But that's another crazy for another day.



Anyway, this whole engagement thing always gets me thinking about what kind of wedding I want. The boy's brother got married last year and had a crazy, over the top, black tie wedding in a super fancy LA hotel. It was gorgeous, but totally not what I want. I want outside, farmhouse, beautiful views, flowy dress, lots of beer, and people dancing to bluegrass music. At least I think that's what I want. I have a feeling once I actually look into it I am going to decide that is way harder to plan than a hotel wedding, and also that maybe I do want a big poofy dress and all the fixings. I should warn you all that I am the world's worst decision maker. Like, if you ask me to choose between two movies I will weigh a list of pros and cons, agonize for approximately 2 hours, and potentially miss the movie because i have given myself an anxiety attack trying to decide. I'd like to say I'm exaggerating, but barely. So making wedding decisions is not going to be a pretty picture. I will be one big (cute) ball of anxiety and stress which makes me really want to elope. The stress of planning a wedding just does not appeal to me. If I had unlimited funds and could just hire someone to do it, that would be great. But I do not. But then there's the whole, oh I want my friends and family to see me profess my love (=look hot in a wedding dress) and I will regret it forever and ever if I elope. Anyway, the moral of this little rant is that I am already stressed about planning a wedding for a marriage that has not even yet been proposed. I think I've mentioned I'm crazy? So are there any thoughts out there from brides who avoided stress, dealt with stress, or drank their stress away? Um, or maybe I shouldn't think about until I'm actually engaged. Yeah, that makes sense.

summer in the city

It is super hot in NYC right now. Well, not that hot just humid as hell and I do not like it. My window unit A/C is total crap and I am not pleased. Why does central air basically not exist in NYC? Fine it exists but not in my price range and I am pissed. Anyway...thanks chelsea and yoda for commenting on my last post! I'm excited and I promise to add you to my blogroll once I figure out how.

I'm definitely feeling a little happier and more at peace since my last couple posts. I think I'm just sort of settling into living alone and all that good stuff. Although the boy comes back in less than a month so I'm sure that by the time I'm really used to it he'll be back. Not that I'm complaining. Soon I am going to grace you all (all 2 of you) with some sort of story. What kind of story I do not know. But some kind.

Life has been slow here, but I am heading up to Boston this weekend to visit my BFF from college so maybe I'll have all kinds of craziness to report on when I come back. I also am trying to make an effort do more summery NYC-y things this summer. Philharmonic in the park? Movie at Bryant park? Those all sound like things I might like. Now, I just have to get off my ass and do them. I am seriously at least going to organize a park picnic night next week with some girlfriends so that is a first step at least.

Have a great weekend and I promise a more interesting post soon!

I suck at this

I seem to kind of suck at blogging. I thought this might happen. I got one comment on my last post (thanks vittoria!) which was pretty exciting, but apparently not enough to keep me blogging. I think it's just sort of scary for me to put myself out there, even though this is anonymous and I am trying to do it so no one will be able to figure out the real me. As if that is what people are spending their time doing, but as you will soon learn if we continue with this little experiment, I am a bit paranoid (read: I'm totally loco). So I am trying to figure out if I'm going to keep going with this thing, and I think I will for now. I mean, 2 weeks is sort of pathetic--I can't quit already. So, an update for y'all. (I am so not from the south, but sort of went to college there and really like y'all.) Anywho...the boy is still gone, I miss him, am very sad, and am not visiting him because I cannot get on a plane. I pretty much hate myself for this but it's true. He comes back in a month, which I guess isn't so long, but it pretty much blows. I am totally one of those girls with a major case of the crazy, too. I am constantly imagining him flirting and cuddling with the girls he's working with there...I literally have this image of them in a bar, sipping champagne and him thinking, "who needs a girlfriend when I have this new and improved version of W, who is right here with me?". I know he loves me, would never cheat, blah blah blah, but being 3000 miles away can make a girl a little nuts. So bear with me. But I will try to have fun this weekend, I'm heading to Fire Island tomorrow and then I have a bbq to go to in Brooklyn on Saturday so it should be a good time. I never venture to the outer boroughs (I'm not a snob, just really really lazy) but I figure with the boy gone I've got to up my adventure quotient. I'll let you know how it all turns out. Hope anyone out there actually reading this has a great 4th!

leaving on a jet plane

He's gone baby gone. So I am sitting here watching Notting Hill on TV. I generally am not a romantic comedy kind of gal, but this one actually kind of makes me laugh. My tummy is in knots since he's left...I have some issues in that department that I will not subject you to. Regardless, I am reeling. But alas, life must go on. So tell me, if anyone happens to be reading, what do you to take your mind off being sad and lonely?

the joys of relationships

So, the boy is leaving on Sunday for six weeks for work. He'll be in Europe, and I'm going to visit for a weekend if I can get on a plane (that's another neurosis for another day) but basically, I'm a mess. He's been working late all week and I am freaking out that we are not spending enough quality time together before he goes. He's all: "quality time? who cares if we are gazing into each other's eyes at a wine bar or sprawled on the couch watching The Hills? As long as we're together....blah blah blah." But I'm all: ""No! We have to have proper dates, and say nice things to each other, and be all alone together before you leave or else." Now, I of course have no idea what the "or else" is. Or else we'll break up? Or else you'll cheat on me? Or else I'll cheat on you? Or else you'll forget me? Or else you'll never buy that engagement ring I know you're looking for? Basically, I've got a major case of the crazy. But that fact is, I miss my boy when he's gone. And I overthink and overanalyze everything. So, I'm going out tonight with some friends since he's supposed to work late but the whole time I'll be thinking what if he gets home before me? Now, that would be a disaster.

Here we go again

So I guess it's time to give you a little info about me. I live in NYC with my boyfriend, L, and I just finished grad school and am starting a job in city government. Like a lot of 20-something female bloggers out there, I sometimes feel a little lost navigating this strange time of life where I really don't feel like an adult, but am beginning to suspect that I should. I've got the travel bug majorly and imagine myself living in all sorts of faraway lands and having crazy adventures. And if it wasn't for the boy, maybe I would. But alas, I'm a girl who can't leave her man. So here I am, still hoping for adventures, albeit of a somewhat tamer variety. I want this blog to be a way to express myself and practice my writing, and if I also get to become a part of the amazing community of women bloggers out there, that would be fantastic. I read all your blogs all the time, and as soon as I figure out how to comment and set up a blogroll, I hope you'll come on by and say hello. I'm pretty technologically challenged, so this is bound to be interesting, but maybe one day I'll have an internet bff all my own.

is anyone out there?

So here I am. A blogger. I've been reading blogs for a little less than a year now, and it seems the time has come to start my own. I'm a little freaked out putting this all out there...so some of this may be real, some fiction, only I will know. Intriguing, right? That's how I'm luring you all in. This is an experiment in writing, sharing, feeling, and learning, so let's see how it goes. Obviously, no one is reading yet. But maybe one day...